I received an email with this question: "What is the single most important practice in Real Magic?" I went into a meditative space and as I observed myself giving myself space to receive an answer, I realized that I always went to Silence. When I truly desire to give Truth, I go to Silence. I would say, then, that the single most important practice in any way of life, not only in the Tao of Real Magic, is Silence.
Don't choose silence; just say the word. Don't choose love, don't choose wisdom - as soon as we choose it an idea of what love or wisdom or peace or freedom is, begins to churn in our interpretive mind. Choose to let go of the interpretive mind and its addiction to ideas. Say, then, "Silence".
In that Silence is the complete letting go of ideas about separation, being victim, being right, fearing to be wrong, the letting go of interpretation, the letting go of thought itself, the letting go of 'being'. Just say, "Silence". If you choose to let go or receive you are in the realm of ideas. Silence is the end of ideas. The blessed end of ideas. Be willing to have no ideas, no thing, no source, no truth, no me, no you... What happens in this space?
Love comes alive. Wisdom comes alive. What was there all the time hidden behind all the ideas of this or that or the one thing or the no thing and the looking for the meaning of this, that, and the other, is only the love, peace, and wisdom that is alive in that vast space of Silence that is truly you--where you truly live.
Have a beautiful Solstice, Christmas, New Year's celebration and a miraculous experience of all your days being bright and filled with the Silence of the Christ in 2010. Yes, that is an idea but it is my favorite idea and my goal as a Real Magic practitioner and teacher! God bless us every one!
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
You
I was just reading the intention for this blog again and it’s really quite beautiful. Thank you. I read it often and feel the connection.
What strikes me today about this introduction, is how much I don’t know about the other students in this community. There is a collective knowledge through experience here that is palpable and rare.
I want to know more about you - after all these years of study, after all of these power points, after all of the mantras, who have you become? Are you inspired? Are you at peace? Are you indescribable? Are you utterly unsure? What is your soul’s desire? What is your continued resistance?
I would like to use you if you are willing. Use your wisdom, use your insight - as a tool that continues to inspire, nudge and move me through my ego and deeper into truth and practice. I will happily in turn, do the same.
“I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake.” - George Bernard Shaw
What strikes me today about this introduction, is how much I don’t know about the other students in this community. There is a collective knowledge through experience here that is palpable and rare.
I want to know more about you - after all these years of study, after all of these power points, after all of the mantras, who have you become? Are you inspired? Are you at peace? Are you indescribable? Are you utterly unsure? What is your soul’s desire? What is your continued resistance?
I would like to use you if you are willing. Use your wisdom, use your insight - as a tool that continues to inspire, nudge and move me through my ego and deeper into truth and practice. I will happily in turn, do the same.
“I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake.” - George Bernard Shaw
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
I wanted to write something from the new book and I began thinking about magic. That it is a word that has a lot of bad press yet it is such a creative beautiful work we do when we accomplish magical living. It has a bad press because it has been condemned by patriarchial thinking-- both superstitious definitions and intellectual definitions condemn magic as being both occult and female. Churches--Buddhist, Christian, Islamic-- condemn it and the practice of it.
To me it is a beautiful word and it implies something beautiful. It implies a beautiful relationship with Creation; it implies the conscious and wise transmutation of form. It implies miracles. I love living a magical existence, a miraculous existence. I would like to know your thoughts. I know that some of you resisted that word because of status pressure and a need for validation, for spiritual apporval from a larger audience. Did you ever feel that way? Do you still feel that way? What is your relationship with the word magic?
To me it is a beautiful word and it implies something beautiful. It implies a beautiful relationship with Creation; it implies the conscious and wise transmutation of form. It implies miracles. I love living a magical existence, a miraculous existence. I would like to know your thoughts. I know that some of you resisted that word because of status pressure and a need for validation, for spiritual apporval from a larger audience. Did you ever feel that way? Do you still feel that way? What is your relationship with the word magic?
Friday, November 27, 2009
She who watches and she who is
Took a beautiful walk early this morning up through the hills just 10 minutes from my front door. It was cold, sunny, snowy and pleasantly vacant of other hikers. As I was walking I felt the silence, but also felt the distinct feeling that I was watching the silence and not living the silence. This feels like a consistently tricky area for me...so innately I slide into being a witness to my own life instead of being fully planted in it. I wonder how you dance in and out of presence?
Rainy Friday Morning
I think sometimes of thoughts I want to share but I'm driving or showering or walking in the woods. This time I was meditating - well, thinking a bit in between really excellent bits of focusing when I thought of a conversation I had with a client this morning where he said something about feeling angry at getting older. I found no connection.
Now I can change in a split second but in these moments for a while now I feel such acceptance that I couldn't connect with anger at that that simply is. I choose acceptance is one that I've noticed major resistance to at different times laughing when I realize that I LOVE living in acceptance. Little Bratly - otherwise known as my very own ego can make me forget some of the most obvious truths. I love how we don't know where and how the blessings from mantras will manifest in our lives.
So I'm really thankful that this blog is here and that I can feel a bit more connected with others practicing and learning and healing and growing and waking up.
Love~Aile
Now I can change in a split second but in these moments for a while now I feel such acceptance that I couldn't connect with anger at that that simply is. I choose acceptance is one that I've noticed major resistance to at different times laughing when I realize that I LOVE living in acceptance. Little Bratly - otherwise known as my very own ego can make me forget some of the most obvious truths. I love how we don't know where and how the blessings from mantras will manifest in our lives.
So I'm really thankful that this blog is here and that I can feel a bit more connected with others practicing and learning and healing and growing and waking up.
Love~Aile
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Thoughts on belief and lack, written by Debora on 8/17/09
I wrote this following a conversation on "What is success," with Meridian, my sister.
Belief is the basis of all our "failings," our point A's. Our ego is rooted in our beliefs. It is very limited and controlling. It keeps us in a state of self professed safety.
"Belief creates reality," is the basis of why someone is "successful" and another is not. Success is not something that can be measured, such as money in the bank, a car, a house, or vacations. Success is a state of being, like freedom, a point B, a treasure or diamond.
My relationship with my possessions affects my sense of safety. So when I feel overwhelmed with "my stuff," it still is affecting my sense of safety, only in the opposite sense. It makes me feel out of control and not safe. And this is only my relationship with my belief about my stuff. It is not reality. So what do I want?
Peace, safety, freedom...
Suffering is our point A , our current reality. It is not an inevitable part of our life. It is only present because of our belief in suffering, lack, loss. My work is so stressful, I am not good enough, I don't deserve a loving relationship with a man. They always leave me.
What am I willing to receive? What are my expectations around relationship? That it will fix me, make me happy, feel loved.
In reality, in creative magic, I don't need fixed. I am a treasure to behold. I am happy, filled with joy and peace. I feel loved by all, the universe, my family, my friends.
Victim is my biggest and strongest belief in my self, the dangerous other, the fox within my cells. It is eating me alive, from the inside out. It has taken control of me for lifetimes. I am obsessed with a strong sense of lack. I am fearful of my accomplishments, my belief in what I can't do and what I am capable of. My successes. How is that possible? It is and feels so pathetic. To be a creative, wonderful and loving human being so drowned in a mire of self pity and self loathing.
This has to stop.
You know what you need to do.
You know how to change these thoughts that surround and control you.
They are not a dangerous other.
They are you, they are your beliefs about yourself.
They, at this point weigh more than your creative self.
Stop now, no more focus or energy given to these beliefs about lack.
Power point your new self, your diamond, your treasure within.
No more victim, only rainbows.
Belief is the basis of all our "failings," our point A's. Our ego is rooted in our beliefs. It is very limited and controlling. It keeps us in a state of self professed safety.
"Belief creates reality," is the basis of why someone is "successful" and another is not. Success is not something that can be measured, such as money in the bank, a car, a house, or vacations. Success is a state of being, like freedom, a point B, a treasure or diamond.
My relationship with my possessions affects my sense of safety. So when I feel overwhelmed with "my stuff," it still is affecting my sense of safety, only in the opposite sense. It makes me feel out of control and not safe. And this is only my relationship with my belief about my stuff. It is not reality. So what do I want?
Peace, safety, freedom...
Suffering is our point A , our current reality. It is not an inevitable part of our life. It is only present because of our belief in suffering, lack, loss. My work is so stressful, I am not good enough, I don't deserve a loving relationship with a man. They always leave me.
What am I willing to receive? What are my expectations around relationship? That it will fix me, make me happy, feel loved.
In reality, in creative magic, I don't need fixed. I am a treasure to behold. I am happy, filled with joy and peace. I feel loved by all, the universe, my family, my friends.
Victim is my biggest and strongest belief in my self, the dangerous other, the fox within my cells. It is eating me alive, from the inside out. It has taken control of me for lifetimes. I am obsessed with a strong sense of lack. I am fearful of my accomplishments, my belief in what I can't do and what I am capable of. My successes. How is that possible? It is and feels so pathetic. To be a creative, wonderful and loving human being so drowned in a mire of self pity and self loathing.
This has to stop.
You know what you need to do.
You know how to change these thoughts that surround and control you.
They are not a dangerous other.
They are you, they are your beliefs about yourself.
They, at this point weigh more than your creative self.
Stop now, no more focus or energy given to these beliefs about lack.
Power point your new self, your diamond, your treasure within.
No more victim, only rainbows.
Friday, November 6, 2009
It's Your Life
Even, and maybe especially, the basics, bear repeating.
What if you choose to experience life directly, without beliefs to interpret it for you, without asking the popular question “What does this mean?" The minute you ask yourself the simple, naked question, “What do I want?” you begin to challenge your beliefs. Because most often, what you want far exceeds what your beliefs have led you to believe is possible. “I want to love unconditionally”…. Oh, well, I’ll never be able to do that, because I’m so insecure, and jealous, and possessive, and angry, and judgmental….
“No, I choose to love unconditionally. I intend for the rest of my life to love unconditionally”… so then you have put it out there that this is a new piece of you that you are creating. The old, fearful, depressed and angry pieces of you find this challenging, and offer up lots of resistance to this new piece. But you keep saying “I want and choose and intend to love unconditionally for the rest of my life” (and you stamp your foot), and it’s amazing how many feelings and emotions and fears and beliefs and disbeliefs arise in the face of such a simple declaration. It’s amazing how much courage it takes to stand firm in such an intention. You can no longer allow yourself to fall back into old behaviors, because you want this.
So, you acknowledge your fears and your doubt, and you ask for your larger, unconditional self to take hold. And you call upon your faith even if you don't have any. And you DO IT. Yes, it’s a slippery slope. Yes, it takes a while. Yes, it’s hard. No, it’s not comfortable. No, it’s not about remembering all the bad things that happened to you that made you so fearful, and depressed and angry. It’s about standing out there with no props and no assurances and saying “But I want to love unconditionally.” And nobody except YOU gives a rat’s ass whether you succeed or not. You are accountable only to yourself (read: God). So, if you cheat, and fall back into your self-importance, your fear, your depression, your anger, nobody even knows! Or cares. Except you (read: God). We have a Teacher because we want to create ourselves, we are devoted to this intention. and we have seeked and we have found. But it is UP TO US.
You have to go out on the biggest limb of your life. For the rest of your life. Period. If you want your life.
Something interesting happened on the way to the...
Twice now I have been on this site, on different days, & have been "flipped into" the Real Magic Studies home page. So this time I looked further & ran across the beautiful writing on "Letting go of Attachement." How appropriately it states why we are here to do this work, how it will benefit us in the "real world" & why we shouldn't ponder all this too much. Just do the work & enjoy the life we are creating! What fun!
Thoughts on transforming fear & self importance
I wrote this a couple days ago but didn't get it posted...
As I see it, the human ego is becoming more & more polarized, as is the planet. We, the human ego, as a collective thought form, are creating a more & total separation from God. We are running frightened, scurrying around trying to fix & analyze everything that presents itself to us. We are supporting all the current wars & battles on the planet with our thoughts of dangerous others. They are not like us, they must be killed or they will kill us. This perpetual (ego) war will never be won until we are one. One mind, one soul, one belief in the goodness of all mankind. One transmuted ego.
We have the potential to be a peaceful, gentle ego living on a healthy, prosperous , as in creative, planet. Our planet is in trouble. We can change this by changing ourselves. Transforming ourselves into the whole & beautiful beings we were intended to be. Let us all walk, in simplicity toward a new planet, created by newly tranformed human egos. The simplicity of super conscious thought is what we need to move toward... thinking in a new way!!! Real Magic 101.
We define ourselves by our disease, our limitations. We see this as real, as truth, because we feel the pain of it. What if our joy, our beauty, our Grace was real! Can we feel the truth in that?
My self importance comes up so often at work, at least I see it more clearly in that setting. It can be so busy & chaotic. I respond with my usual, safe form of "self importance," which comes across as anger & irritation, yes, petulance. I think & suggest out loud that it might be fixed this way or that & it is often misinterpreted as judgment & criticism. I can see myself in these moments, in hindsight, as egocentric in the ego jungle at work. Instead, by practicing silence & simplicity, as suggested in a recent reading by our teacher, thank you Sylvia, I can be in Grace, where my spirit can soar in love & cooperation. As I transform myself, I transform the world, one person at a time.
As I see it, the human ego is becoming more & more polarized, as is the planet. We, the human ego, as a collective thought form, are creating a more & total separation from God. We are running frightened, scurrying around trying to fix & analyze everything that presents itself to us. We are supporting all the current wars & battles on the planet with our thoughts of dangerous others. They are not like us, they must be killed or they will kill us. This perpetual (ego) war will never be won until we are one. One mind, one soul, one belief in the goodness of all mankind. One transmuted ego.
We have the potential to be a peaceful, gentle ego living on a healthy, prosperous , as in creative, planet. Our planet is in trouble. We can change this by changing ourselves. Transforming ourselves into the whole & beautiful beings we were intended to be. Let us all walk, in simplicity toward a new planet, created by newly tranformed human egos. The simplicity of super conscious thought is what we need to move toward... thinking in a new way!!! Real Magic 101.
We define ourselves by our disease, our limitations. We see this as real, as truth, because we feel the pain of it. What if our joy, our beauty, our Grace was real! Can we feel the truth in that?
My self importance comes up so often at work, at least I see it more clearly in that setting. It can be so busy & chaotic. I respond with my usual, safe form of "self importance," which comes across as anger & irritation, yes, petulance. I think & suggest out loud that it might be fixed this way or that & it is often misinterpreted as judgment & criticism. I can see myself in these moments, in hindsight, as egocentric in the ego jungle at work. Instead, by practicing silence & simplicity, as suggested in a recent reading by our teacher, thank you Sylvia, I can be in Grace, where my spirit can soar in love & cooperation. As I transform myself, I transform the world, one person at a time.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
another post from planet wrong..
Like Meridian, I am also a girl from planet Wrong. I found her comments very comforting, since I tend to be either completely hard-ass or completely disregarding. Here’s to balance and a ‘softer way of living’. Thanks Meridian!
***
Considering Sylvia's questions re: fear, self-importance, and ego:
At the pool the other day, a little girl was getting a swimming lesson. She didn’t want to get in the water and told the teacher there were sharks in the pool. Now, this girl knew there were no sharks in the pool. But her fear was real to her and she wasn’t ready to get in the water. Was she was coming from a place of ego and self-importance? Seems like a heavy rap, I mean, she’s just a kid, forfucksake! I would say the ego is causing a little emotional distortionJ! I thought of this when considering if the ego is necessary, since it’s ‘job’ is to preserve the physical body, and human beings are not born with the ability to swim. But many kids will jump in the water with no drama, so who knows.
I have a fear of deep water also, having come close to drowning a couple times as a child. For a long time, I believed this fear was real and was self-important in my avoidance of the water. “I hate swimming!” Now I have the wisdom to move through the fear, and enjoy swimming very much. I still feel the fear in my body as physical tension, but it’s let go a lot. So I have the wisdom, and the ego is only causing discomfort and is not of service to me in this.
In our RM work, we are releasing the ego and transitioning to a life guided by spirit. It seems that when all humans do this, maybe ego will no longer be necessary for survival on earth. Cool.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Self-importance (Meridian)
I was talking with Sylvia the other day about my concern that I would need to be careful or I would find my self in self-importance during a 10 day training that I am soon to be taking. She said to me, in a very matter-of-fact way, that I would no doubt find myself there - in self-importance - and, "What could I do?", she kindly asked. Powerpoint!
This simple reminder helps me remember that I am human - it is in my nature to make mistakes (such as being in self-importance), but it is also (now that I know about RM studies) in my nature to change my feelings about them. I am one of the "girls from planet Wrong." I don't have to be perfect. I don't have to control my thoughts, my actions, my emotions - all I have to do is powerpoint and move on. Beating myself up about being in ego, yet once again (!), is senseless. It is more important to love my humanness and not worry about not getting 'it' right all the time. When I recognize my self-importance, I can look upon it with patience and kindness, powerpoint it and let it go - a much softer way to live.
In response to Sylvia's most recent questions asking us if fear is self-important and don't we need our ego here on earth...? My new immediate response when I feel fearful is to go to my heart. My heart is real; my fear is the illusion. If I allow my heart to guide me, (and I'm beginning to think this feels like safety) then I no longer need to control my world and my fear dissipates. My ego begins to align itself with my Soul instead of my self-importance.
Current thoughts these days as I navigate through this crazy world!
This simple reminder helps me remember that I am human - it is in my nature to make mistakes (such as being in self-importance), but it is also (now that I know about RM studies) in my nature to change my feelings about them. I am one of the "girls from planet Wrong." I don't have to be perfect. I don't have to control my thoughts, my actions, my emotions - all I have to do is powerpoint and move on. Beating myself up about being in ego, yet once again (!), is senseless. It is more important to love my humanness and not worry about not getting 'it' right all the time. When I recognize my self-importance, I can look upon it with patience and kindness, powerpoint it and let it go - a much softer way to live.
In response to Sylvia's most recent questions asking us if fear is self-important and don't we need our ego here on earth...? My new immediate response when I feel fearful is to go to my heart. My heart is real; my fear is the illusion. If I allow my heart to guide me, (and I'm beginning to think this feels like safety) then I no longer need to control my world and my fear dissipates. My ego begins to align itself with my Soul instead of my self-importance.
Current thoughts these days as I navigate through this crazy world!
Saturday, October 31, 2009
I've been writing on the new book Radical Light for hours. Here is a sample:
"Student: So“simple but not easy” is literally true. Could you elaborate on why it (transformation, enlightenment, truth consciousness, etc.) doesn’t happen this literally and easily?
Why doesn’t this happen easily? Because of human self-importance. A part of your own consciousness won’t allow it to happen easily. Your ego won’t let it, your ego is programmed to control everything in your existence and the very nature of The Great Work requires you to deliberately let go of control—let go of wanting to control anything. This brings up your fear and when your fear comes up you think it is real, therefore, you have resistance. Resistance happens in the place where the ego is in charge. This is the hardest part of the Work, releasing the ego. "
Question for students: So-when your fear comes up you think it is real. Why do I say that? Is thinking that your fear is real part of self-importance? Why should we release the ego? Isn't the ego necessary if humans are to survive on Earth?
"Student: So“simple but not easy” is literally true. Could you elaborate on why it (transformation, enlightenment, truth consciousness, etc.) doesn’t happen this literally and easily?
Why doesn’t this happen easily? Because of human self-importance. A part of your own consciousness won’t allow it to happen easily. Your ego won’t let it, your ego is programmed to control everything in your existence and the very nature of The Great Work requires you to deliberately let go of control—let go of wanting to control anything. This brings up your fear and when your fear comes up you think it is real, therefore, you have resistance. Resistance happens in the place where the ego is in charge. This is the hardest part of the Work, releasing the ego. "
Question for students: So-when your fear comes up you think it is real. Why do I say that? Is thinking that your fear is real part of self-importance? Why should we release the ego? Isn't the ego necessary if humans are to survive on Earth?
Thursday, October 29, 2009
self-importance
Self-importance
Well, I have to say, I put on lipstick to go to the bathroom, and it’s okay with me. I give it no importance, I just like it. Also my ass!
I was talking with Sylvia about how some recent emotional letting go had been a catalyst for me to get back into my music, and she said “ Why do humans always have to be in pain to be creative or do what they really want to do??? What self-importance!” Which was such a radical perspective on the cultural cliché of creativity, I asked her to say more about it. This is what she said:
“With the human victim mentality pain makes humans feel important. It takes a huge catalyst to move the ego to let go of its grip on negative attention and that catalyst is pain but we do the opposite of what we are supposed to do with it - we get attention when we are in pain and we are attention junkies so we become addicted to pain and love to embrace our pain and dramatize our pain - we become the star of our own pain/self-pity syndrome - and that is certainly a description of self-importance. We could just let go, of course. But the pain addiction keeps us holding on.
Pain is a catalyst that tells us that something is out of balance. But instead of focusing on the point B which will right the balance we focus on our addiction to the pain. We process the PAIN instead of letting go. Even Eckhart Tolle who is a spiritual teacher talks about processing pain - as if if we don't process it we can't be healed -- when in truth we could just let go of it. But we Hold On to it for dear life...o, my pain...it makes me feel real...it tells me I am really living...o how I suffer....and I have to suffer if I am going to be creative..so I nurture my pain...o my pain... all that stuff. It might be that human beings are such powerful in their addiction to pain that they will never be able to shift into wholeness.”
So I (Ditto) was thinking, what would a new, gratitude, impeccability and accountability-based creativity be like? For me, it would be being responsible to my Soul. And choosing to do all the things that feed my soul. If my soul is a singing soul, how arrogant it is of me to squelch my singing out of fear. How self-important it is to imagine that my shyness matters if what nourishes my soul and spirit is self-expression. How perverse it is to deny myself the vibrant beauty that I crave, because I’m skeered. To be creative, to dedicate myself to the creation of beauty and atmosphere, is to be accountable to Me. I'm so grateful to get to explore this now.
Well, I have to say, I put on lipstick to go to the bathroom, and it’s okay with me. I give it no importance, I just like it. Also my ass!
I was talking with Sylvia about how some recent emotional letting go had been a catalyst for me to get back into my music, and she said “ Why do humans always have to be in pain to be creative or do what they really want to do??? What self-importance!” Which was such a radical perspective on the cultural cliché of creativity, I asked her to say more about it. This is what she said:
“With the human victim mentality pain makes humans feel important. It takes a huge catalyst to move the ego to let go of its grip on negative attention and that catalyst is pain but we do the opposite of what we are supposed to do with it - we get attention when we are in pain and we are attention junkies so we become addicted to pain and love to embrace our pain and dramatize our pain - we become the star of our own pain/self-pity syndrome - and that is certainly a description of self-importance. We could just let go, of course. But the pain addiction keeps us holding on.
Pain is a catalyst that tells us that something is out of balance. But instead of focusing on the point B which will right the balance we focus on our addiction to the pain. We process the PAIN instead of letting go. Even Eckhart Tolle who is a spiritual teacher talks about processing pain - as if if we don't process it we can't be healed -- when in truth we could just let go of it. But we Hold On to it for dear life...o, my pain...it makes me feel real...it tells me I am really living...o how I suffer....and I have to suffer if I am going to be creative..so I nurture my pain...o my pain... all that stuff. It might be that human beings are such powerful in their addiction to pain that they will never be able to shift into wholeness.”
So I (Ditto) was thinking, what would a new, gratitude, impeccability and accountability-based creativity be like? For me, it would be being responsible to my Soul. And choosing to do all the things that feed my soul. If my soul is a singing soul, how arrogant it is of me to squelch my singing out of fear. How self-important it is to imagine that my shyness matters if what nourishes my soul and spirit is self-expression. How perverse it is to deny myself the vibrant beauty that I crave, because I’m skeered. To be creative, to dedicate myself to the creation of beauty and atmosphere, is to be accountable to Me. I'm so grateful to get to explore this now.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Self Importance (Valerie)
I read Sylvia’s post several times, and it greatly expands my idea what self-importance is. It is so pervasive, and seems to be the essential expression of the ego’s agenda of separation, fear and lack. What I am trying to wrap my head around is that the opposites of self-importance are gratitude, accountability and impeccability. To me it would seem to be trust, freedom and unity. Perhaps I am confusing what is the root quality or belief and how it plays out in our lives? Or maybe I’m not yet grasping the subtlety and broad range of self-importance’s expression? Is self-importance the same as arrogance?
I will look at my life and recognize areas of self-importance and indentify choice points. Here are a few:
1. Vanity: Why do I put on lipstick to go to the grocery store? Or check my ass in the mirror when I put on leggings? I have a lot of judgment of myself and others, and also a need to be different or special. Choice: Letting go of judgment and being true to myself. Letting go of separation.
I will look at my life and recognize areas of self-importance and indentify choice points. Here are a few:
1. Vanity: Why do I put on lipstick to go to the grocery store? Or check my ass in the mirror when I put on leggings? I have a lot of judgment of myself and others, and also a need to be different or special. Choice: Letting go of judgment and being true to myself. Letting go of separation.
2. Perfectionism and control, being self-conscious. (similar to #1, but with a more intense visceral fear factor) Fear of being the center of attention, speaking in public, and fear of improvisation. Choice: letting go of fear and choosing freedom.
3. Opinions: Getting indignant when reading the news. Getting all fired up about health care and thinking republicans are jack-asses and commentators do-nothing crybabies! Maybe here is where accountability comes in. Doing my part and not concerning myself with what others are doing? Choice: accountability?
4. Indignation over lousy tips and not receiving enough money for my work. Thinking it’s ‘all about me’, and taking things personally. Coming from a place of lack. Choice: gratitude
Here are a few that I’m not sure about, but threw in anyway:
5. Trying to control my boyfriend’s behavior, eating habits. It’s not just about my being concerned about his welfare. I’ve made his health a factor in my well being.
4. Indignation over lousy tips and not receiving enough money for my work. Thinking it’s ‘all about me’, and taking things personally. Coming from a place of lack. Choice: gratitude
Here are a few that I’m not sure about, but threw in anyway:
5. Trying to control my boyfriend’s behavior, eating habits. It’s not just about my being concerned about his welfare. I’ve made his health a factor in my well being.
6. Acting like a child, laziness, not taking care of business. Having a ‘fuck it’ attitude or just avoiding things.
7. Communication: I’m not always accountable in my communication, but expect others to be. Answering emails, returning phone calls, etc.
7. Communication: I’m not always accountable in my communication, but expect others to be. Answering emails, returning phone calls, etc.
Self-importance (Sylvia)
As I work on the new book: Radical Light, I find myself thinking about self-importance a lot. It seems to be the most unrecognizable place we carry in our consciousness. In editing the new book I find that I go over and over the concept of self-importance--what is it and how do we recognize it in ourselves. It is meaningless to have an intellectual grasp of what it is--if we cannot recognize it in ourselves and use it as a power point, we are not transmuting it. And the whole point of transformation is to transmute self-importance. So I am sharing some excerpts from the book hoping to begin a discussion of this difficult theme.....
"Student Question: “You mention self-importance a lot. I think I get it but just how do I recognize when I am being self-important? This is where I get mixed up.”
How do you recognize self-importance? Embarrassment, resentment, petulance (a particularly nasty and childish combination of anger and self-pity), feeling misunderstood and mistreated and blaming others for that, guilt and defensiveness, a feeling that you are not receiving what you are owed. These qualities are an indication that your ego-centered beliefs have been activated.
Self-importance has to do with your fear of being judged, your fear of being wrong, and your determination to prove that you are right. Think of all the weird stuff that you are capable of doing when you are embarrassed, resentful, and defensive. Practice giving yourself the freedom to be wrong. What if you were never afraid to be wrong? There is nothing you wouldn’t be willing to try or be able to accomplish. .
Self-importance is the opposite of gratitude. Self-importance means that you spend most of your life offended by others. Self-importance is characterized by self-righteous indignation, an attachment to being right, an inability let go of judgments, a constant inquisition into other people’s motives, and a constant interpretation of what motivates others. Self-importance is self-pity and a constant search for vindication and a constant compulsion to make others “wrong”so that you can be “right”. Self-importance is an exaggeration of natural human qualities, of the natural human interest in other humans. It is a very subtle and exaggerated narcissism.
The opposite of self-importance is accountability and impeccability. Accountability means you accept your responsibility for everything—the good and the bad—that you create. Impeccability does not mean that you are always right, it means that you are always true."
"Student Question: “You mention self-importance a lot. I think I get it but just how do I recognize when I am being self-important? This is where I get mixed up.”
How do you recognize self-importance? Embarrassment, resentment, petulance (a particularly nasty and childish combination of anger and self-pity), feeling misunderstood and mistreated and blaming others for that, guilt and defensiveness, a feeling that you are not receiving what you are owed. These qualities are an indication that your ego-centered beliefs have been activated.
Self-importance has to do with your fear of being judged, your fear of being wrong, and your determination to prove that you are right. Think of all the weird stuff that you are capable of doing when you are embarrassed, resentful, and defensive. Practice giving yourself the freedom to be wrong. What if you were never afraid to be wrong? There is nothing you wouldn’t be willing to try or be able to accomplish. .
Self-importance is the opposite of gratitude. Self-importance means that you spend most of your life offended by others. Self-importance is characterized by self-righteous indignation, an attachment to being right, an inability let go of judgments, a constant inquisition into other people’s motives, and a constant interpretation of what motivates others. Self-importance is self-pity and a constant search for vindication and a constant compulsion to make others “wrong”so that you can be “right”. Self-importance is an exaggeration of natural human qualities, of the natural human interest in other humans. It is a very subtle and exaggerated narcissism.
The opposite of self-importance is accountability and impeccability. Accountability means you accept your responsibility for everything—the good and the bad—that you create. Impeccability does not mean that you are always right, it means that you are always true."
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