Self-importance (Sylvia)

As I work on the new book: Radical Light, I find myself thinking about self-importance a lot. It seems to be the most unrecognizable place we carry in our consciousness. In editing the new book I find that I go over and over the concept of self-importance--what is it and how do we recognize it in ourselves. It is meaningless to have an intellectual grasp of what it is--if we cannot recognize it in ourselves and use it as a power point, we are not transmuting it. And the whole point of transformation is to transmute self-importance. So I am sharing some excerpts from the book hoping to begin a discussion of this difficult theme.....


"Student Question: “You mention self-importance a lot. I think I get it but just how do I recognize when I am being self-important? This is where I get mixed up.”
How do you recognize self-importance? Embarrassment, resentment, petulance (a particularly nasty and childish combination of anger and self-pity), feeling misunderstood and mistreated and blaming others for that, guilt and defensiveness, a feeling that you are not receiving what you are owed. These qualities are an indication that your ego-centered beliefs have been activated.
Self-importance has to do with your fear of being judged, your fear of being wrong, and your determination to prove that you are right. Think of all the weird stuff that you are capable of doing when you are embarrassed, resentful, and defensive. Practice giving yourself the freedom to be wrong. What if you were never afraid to be wrong? There is nothing you wouldn’t be willing to try or be able to accomplish. .
Self-importance is the opposite of gratitude. Self-importance means that you spend most of your life offended by others. Self-importance is characterized by self-righteous indignation, an attachment to being right, an inability let go of judgments, a constant inquisition into other people’s motives, and a constant interpretation of what motivates others. Self-importance is self-pity and a constant search for vindication and a constant compulsion to make others “wrong”so that you can be “right”. Self-importance is an exaggeration of natural human qualities, of the natural human interest in other humans. It is a very subtle and exaggerated narcissism.
The opposite of self-importance is accountability and impeccability. Accountability means you accept your responsibility for everything—the good and the bad—that you create. Impeccability does not mean that you are always right, it means that you are always true."