Relationships

In working on the new book I keep running across things I think would be great for the blog. This one is especially pertinent because I have been meditating on this a lot in this New Year--how important relationships are and how much the way we treat others matters in the creation of a new world.

This is long but worth the read.

From the new book Radical Light:

"Take that feeling of being sick and hurt, abandoned. This is a feeling we have all had. You are programmed to believe that if you find the culprit, who to blame, you will feel better. Well, you won’t feel better if you focus on ‘blame the culprit.’ It doesn’t matter why you feel sick and hurt. Yes, isn’t that shocking? Your feelings aren’t what’s important here. Forget about why and let go of blame. Let go of it. Why is like because. Why and because keep you in process. “I feel sick and hurt because…” Stop right there. Because means you are looking for blame. Stop with ‘because’. Let go of ‘because’. And let go of ‘why’ and let go of your endless stories about who done you wrong. Why and because and who to blame keep you in the ego loop and you end the days of your life still playing loop-de-loop with your unconscious ego.

Stop; take a deep breath and say, “I feel sick and hurt.” And if you are continuing to blame someone, especially if it is someone you love, you will feel VERYsick and hurt because your pain is two-fold—you hurt yourself and you hurt them. “I feel sick and in pain—I hurt!” Period. Don’t process your pain! Do NOT process your pain. Give yourself the one thing you need if you are going to transmute “sick and hurt” into freedom. Give yourself a point A that you can polarize. How do you polarize it? Just say it “My point A is that I feel sick and hurt. Then carry it from there to find the opposite of “sick and hurt.” Find what you authentically want to create.

“I feel sick and hurt. This is not what I want.” Now you can go to Point B. And here you have to ask yourself what you would like to give to them? What intention will polarize point A? What kind of relationship with yourself would you like to create? Do you want a relationship with yourself that creates more pain, fear, damage, and anger; more toxic energy in the world? What can you create that would help you be strong and independent and blessed with discernment and compassion? Choose to bring the energy of healing, compassion, understanding, and blessing into your relationship with yourself. This is your magical point B.

Make this a mantra. “I choose to have a relationship with myself that has magic, healing, compassion, understanding, and blessing in it.” Are you willing to receive a wisdom self that is a treasure, that is a diamond? You will find that what comes to you in this relationship with yourself is whatever you are willing to receive. What are you willing to receive from life, from yourself? What do you want to be? What matters most to you? That’s what is going to show up in your relationships.

For example, “I choose to receive a relationship of health, love, strength, integrity, peace, compassion and blessing with myself, with other people, and with the world.” That’s a great all time mantra for everything under the sun. Create an all time relationship mantra with yourself, with other people, and with the world and say it every day until it becomes your first waking thought. Because you are in relationship with the world all the time and that’s where your true intentions are going to be most deeply felt. This is where your true Authentic Self is going to show up and be counted.

Student: And we shorten that by saying “I choose to be true to myself.”?...

Yes! Thank you! This is all part of the path of being true to yourself.

And this is very simple, basic, ordinary stuff. I’m not preaching at you because of some high level spiritual idea or ideal that I know and you don’t know. I’m talking about what I know. I know alchemy. I know how to transmute energy using only consciousness itself. And I know this because I have suffered for it. What does that mean? It means my basic nature is fierce, high-energy, protective, shy, quiet, loud and opinionated. I have been told that I am fierce because the nature of what I teach requires me to be fiercely focused on truth. But that is no excuse! I have hurt people. All kinds of people. But mostly I have hurt people I love and the remorse I felt when I examined my behavior and choices, when I brought it home, made me practice these practices with dedication once I learned them. And once I began teaching I practiced what I was preaching until I know it in my cells, in my atoms, it’s probably in my DNA—or maybe it always was.

And I still have to practice. The ego is so strong, so deeply entrenched in our constant daily collective consciousness—and we get tired and stressed and short-tempered—we hurt—and so, we have to be constant gardeners, digging up weeds and planting truth in ourselves, constant warriors fighting for truth in our deepest hearts. We are not perfect. We never know when we will be brought face to face with our deepest fear of truth. We have to fight for truth every moment of our lives. We have to struggle to make every moment of our lives a blessing. Then we will be true and authentic Creators. Then we will be true to ourselves."

This is my message in a bottle for the first month into the New Year. Thank you.